Last one for 2013

Don’t worry I won’t get to soppy with the “Year in Review” but I do admit it was an interesting with the trip to Texas, the DH finishing his command as CS, getting Mel to the first of 2 stages of her training and a huge turnover at the day job.

The DH has some more free time in 2014 so I am hoping that we will be able to do more spontaneous stuff.  My new work schedule has me with Fridays off so I am hoping that I can use these to my advantage to do stuff with the DH like hitting Wonderland or even hitting the campsite a bit earlier.

On Christmas Eve I stopped in at the out-laws to drop off the presents and I guess there was some crossed wires from someone that reads my blog.  The SOL asked me if I was having heart issues since someone has told her I was having bypass surgery……That kind of made me giggle when I got to the car and thought that my heart is the only thing Dr. Sarah says I have on me that is textbook LOL  I corrected her and that started with a friend that is has been approved.

We have started packing for the move and I am finding that I am getting rid of some stuff. If I can’t remember who gave it to me and I haven’t used it, out it goes. We will definitely need a storage unit for a few month to make the house look “minimal” for people coming in.

So that is it for now, enjoy the last few hours of 2013 and have a healthy 2014

Bullet Points for a Post

·         I know it has been a while

·         I have been accepted for RNY surgery much to Dr Sarah’s surprise she didn't think I had enough check to qualify.  I have a 2-3 hours orientation meeting about it all in TO on Feb 12^th. I can’t reschedule since they are like the golden ticket to see Willy Wonka.

·         Been keeping in touch with some of the gals that are no longer at work and I am glad that I am making the effort.

·         Feeling the love at work with the NavyWife and we are just going to ride it all out.

·         Nik & I were at the Santa Claus Parade with SJTD and we had a blast.  Mind you Nik was getting tired near the end was getting grumpy at the other dogs.  I don’t blame a 12 y/o puppy.

·         Went to the Hadfield Christmas Party on the weekend and didn’t really eat that much.  It was mentioned that I was eating like a bird which was good enough for me.  To me it was a validation that I was overeating/bingeing.

·         We had the work party and I had to leave early with NavyWife since my disassociation was really bad.  Nik wouldn’t settle and there were a few times she was in my lap.  After looking back I should have sat with my back to the window so that the blinking Christmas lights wouldn’t have been in my view all night.

·         Headed to the mall on the weekend too.  I am glad that I had the DH there to get me out because after an hour in the food court I couldn’t figure out how to get out of the mall.  I told him that next year we should just buy everything online.

·         The holidays are going to have mixed feelings.  I am going to enjoy going to Mom’s and the BIL’s in Ottawa, but since we need to start renovating the house I feel like I don’t have a proper place for the wrapped gifts since I decided that we weren’t putting up the tree.  I honestly haven’t even started decorating my desk for the contest that is this Thursday.  I guess the 3 nights at week at the other job are finally taking a toll.

·         In a few weeks we go to 4 – 10hr days in a week with a Friday off.  I know I will save on gas, but I am losing 2 of my 3 shifts.  I guess we will see how that all goes.

There will be more posts in the future and definitely before the New Year ;)

Gotta love my co-workers

Well today is my fasting blood work so I wanted to get it done as soon as I could to get the ball rolling on all of this.

I ate some foods last night at the other job but not all that much since I wasn't really hungry.  Until today..........

Navy wife and Corrie K have been really nice about eating foods in the lunchroom or not eating at all.  Corrie K went for lunch and picked up a salad and when she came back she happily informed me that it tasted horrible and had red cabbage and red onions in it LOL

So far I have been a gopher popping my head up every once in a while sniffing the air.  I have been playing "name that smell" and both of them have been chuckling at me.

So I have made it through the majority of the lunch hour without running through the office stark raving mad so I am hoping the shortened afternoon will go by quickly.

Sooper Bizzy…….

Well I had the appointment with Dr. Sarah as most of you saw and I ended up with more yeses than noes on her little test for GBS. So I figured that I had the go ahead from Dr. Sarah and I was already to defend myself to her in regards to GBS and I didn’t get a single back lash or any type of trouble!  She told me that my blood that she has in my file is almost a year old so I have to get new blood work and we are going to have 2 sets of blood work done on Tuesday.  Dr. Sarah was nice about it all she even asked me what hospital I wanted to go to.  So I guess the ball is starting to roll so we will see how my journey goes.

Susanne has mentioned to me that I should get into the mind set of eating as if I was post op and so I have been doing that this week.  I am surprised how I am able to maintain myself on a smaller amount of food.  I also have been told to drink a litre of water a day which isn’t that big of a deal since I can do that in the morning.

This weekend was the R7 Conference that was just outside of Baltimore and the DH and were heading down since this is his last “appearance” as a CS so I decided to tag along too.  I knew there was going to be lots of food, since there were 2 meals out and room parties as well so I really wasn’t that stressed about eating.

On the way down I ordered a happy meal at McD’s and I ate the kid’s size fries and a simple cheese burger and I saved my yogurt.  I was pretty happy with myself since I didn’t give it a second thought when I ordered the happy meal.

We stopped in at the hotel restaurant for lunch and we both ordered Caesar salad and chicken parmesan.  I didn’t eat all of my salad and was happy to leave some behind and when the main came I was surprised at the big size.  So at this point I prioritised what was in the bowl and I enjoyed the chicken and the cheese and the few mouthfuls of pasta. DANG!!!!  I my leftovers are still in the hotel fridge!!!!  Shows you that I wasn’t obsessing about it LOL

Friday supper was a buffet that you pay what your container weighs.  We had the options of a large container (used for larger salads) or a smaller container that I would say rivals a hamburger box. Well my dinner was a smaller box of a bit of mac n cheese, a few ribs and 2 pieces of General Tao’s chicken.  I did have a 2^nd smaller container of fruit and yogurt since I have dreadfully missed yogurt over the past 2 years.

Breakfasts on the weekend were a little tougher since it had been so long since I was able to have pork bacon that I might have indulged on that.  I am not saying I ate all of Bessie and left none for anyone else but I did have 2 helpings.

So now I am back and I am not feeling too bad about my eating on the weekend and I had a blast since we have been asked to come back down for next year LOL

I can just see Susanne telling me to give myself a pat on the back for my efforts this weekend.

Nervous

Well I am here early at the doctor's office waiting to talk to Dr. Sarah.

I am not sure if my nerves are for the the talk about GPS or the fact she hasn't seen Nik but noticed her in the car before.

Either way I am next.

Untitled

I could use a lot of puns like “last night had a lot of information to digest” or “Hills and Mr. Hills had quite a mouthful to say” or “they gave me food for thought” etc. so I am going to leave it untitled.

Both of them were at different stages of the surgery and both of them said that there were over 400 pounds when they started the journey.  Hills is just shy of 2 years and her she is enjoying eating food as much as ever and her stomach still is 8 fluid ounces big.  I mentioned to them that on the forum I lurk through that there is one gal that keeps a container in her purse and when she eats she pulls it out, fills it up and whatever doesn’t fit goes in a box. I personally think it is a great idea since you don’t over eat.

They both enjoyed who they are before the surgery but Hills didn’t want to progress any further and end up like her mom so she is turning back the clock on her life.  She finds that she doesn’t like when she gets the “oh my gosh look at you” since she did for other reasons than looking good. Mr. Hills did his surgery since he didn’t want to lose his feet to diabetes.  To him this is the ultimate worst thing he could think of when he thought about his health. 

Pretty much everyone I have talked to would do it again in heart beat or wondered why they didn’t do it earlier.

I do realise that these folks have had a long and rough journey but apparently the rewards in the end are well worth it. I will see what Dr. Sarah suggests and I will let you all know too!

Doing the Happy Dance

I managed to get a time to get together with Hills tonight.  After various times of getting together and needing to cancel for one reason or another it is going happen!

I have various questions that I have written down to ask her.  To me my questions are trivial and important, but I guess until you have experienced this all it might be overwhelming.

I want to thank her to let her know that I do appreciate and hopefully we will be able to have a good buddy system if I do go through with it.  Who knows I might be doing all this leg work for Dr. Sarah to be denied her referral.

What a weekend!

Lots of people and lots of food is how I can sum up this weekend!

Friday night the DH was working until 1 am so I thought I would ask Miss Scrappy if she and Mr. Scrappy wanted to come over for a bit and a chat.  I was a little concerned that he might not want to come since there might too much estrogen in the house.  But he came along and we all enjoyed the night.  We had a spread of Chinese finger food for appetizers, lasagna and garlic bread for supper and lemon cake for dessert. I wasn't really hungry when they got there and I didn't stuff myself tot eh gills.  I ate a few of the spring rolls, picked at my lasagna and really didn't eat the garlic bread.  The slice of cake I took was average size so I think I did okay.  I am sure that they would have stayed longer if he didn't get texts from his mom to let the dog out LOL

Saturday Nikki and I were heading off to Milton to help RedRover out with some team testing.  Nikki tried so hard to stay wake with her vest on that I finally took it off her since she was fighting the sleep.  Once the 5 teams had passed the test RedRover brought out enough food to feed an army!  She had sliced meats, cheeses, chocolate and pops for us that were getting our dogs kids tested.  Well I had a few slices of turkey breast and a chunk of hard cheese and considered that lunch.  I remember a time when I would have put as much mayo and meat on 2 slices of white bread and still looked for more.  I just needed to satisfy the mouth again since I really didn't have a tummy rumble for lunch.  as Nikki and I were waiting for our turn for the kids test an executive was there fro St. John's and bought all of us coffee or hot chocolate.  I was gracious and took the hot chocolate but it wasn't as I remembered with when I would get an XL one for the flavour.

Nikki passed her kids test in 5 minutes and even sat for a little girl to read to her so know Red Rover wants us to get into a kids group home in the area and I am sure they will love Nikki's "dead cockroach" for tummy rubs :)

I get home and decided to have a nap since the kid test was so chaotic that I couldn't focus and Nikki actually put her head on my lap when the girl was reading to her.  That is when I figured I needed to get out of there.  Once I woke up from my nap, the DH let me know that my BiL in Ottawa was on his way to crash at our place before heading to the farm on Sunday to see my FiL. So I guess the steaks I took out for supper will have to wait since I am not feeding 2 but 5 for supper.  So off we went to Yong's for the buffet.  I was glad for the seating arrangement we had since I couldn't really get up to get my own food so I relied on the DH and really paced myself with the food I had.  I normally would have eaten it all and then got up for another plate, but this way I was able to take my time, enjoy the bites and let it settle before racing up again.

I understand that this is the way BPS patients need to eat.  They need to chew it until it becomes and applesauce consistency since the pouch needs the help.  I also have found a BGP support forum in Ontario and there is a group meeting on the 26th.  I know the Hills hasn't heard of it since she was excited to go when I offered to take her.

As I regress, the gang came back to the house and Little L was bored and decided that Nikki needed to be comfy when she feel asleep.  There are various pictures on Nikki having the patience of a saint but I like this one:

Sunday I was to meet with Hills but she came down with something and wanted to reschedule. So we are going to try Tuesday night so I am sure I will have a post to tell you all at that point LOL

So I spent the day on the couch and enjoyed a snooze before I headed off to the 2nd job.  Once I got there I really didn't want to eat that much but eventually I had a tummy ache from hunger.  I broke down and had something to eat but didn't enjoy it.  I really had a "blank palate" of what I wanted.  I have had a good solid week of this and I think Susanne is right, I have no interest in food when I am not told 'no'

So until my next post, enjoy your week!

 

 

 

 

A sign?

And no I don't mean a road sign either........

I had a voicemail left last night at home and it was Dr. Sarah's office calling saying that they needed to reschedule my appointment that I made for my physical on November 28th. 

Normally when I call during the day I am always in a queue for a bit to the point I have them on the speaker phone and I have been on so long that I forgot I called until I hear the "hello?" and it reminds me!  Well this morning it rang straight through to the receptionist and I was joking with her on how fast it happened!  I have to have my physical one year plus a day in order to have it covered by OHIP so that meant any time after the 22nd of November.  Well they didn't have Dr. Sarah's December schedule yet but the receptionist kept trying to get me in on Thursday the 8th.I repeated the details *again* and she mentioned the 7th *again* so I thought what the heck......make it the appointment I need to get the questions answered about gastric bypass.

This will work out perfectly since I am meeting up with Hills on Sunday afternoon to catch up on life and ask some questions that Kane has mentioned to me about colds etc.

So I guess I will wait and see but now it is 6 days instead of 27.

Wow......

I have to admit this is a first in a looooong time......

My tummy rumbled to let me know that I was hungry but I have no idea what I want to eat. I have no obsession or a food cravings to help me make the decision I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

Usually working at the second job has me around this food all the time and normally I'm thinking ahead of what I'm would like to order if I could but for some reason today nothing is really piques my interest.

I guess I'm going to have to give this a real long think.....I like it!

Well I did it.....

It was really scary leaving a group on FB!  Wow I didn't think it would have been that stressful but it was.  I don't have any resentment towards anyone in the group and I was very polite and thanked everyone for their support and added a *waves goodbye* at the end.

I think that was the start of it and then I moved onto the blog and redesigned it a bit.

Who know what I will do next but I will let you know LOL

With Thanks

I had a session with Susanne this weekend and we had plenty to talk about.  Most of the session was in regards with me leaving Poon and how it felt. As odd as it sounds it was kind of liberating since the obsession of foods was gone.  I know it is hard to explain, but if you have eve been told no for what ever reason you will know what I am talking about.

This got us on the topic of Dr. Sarah and how my physical in November is going to go. When I saw her in 2011 she gave me the ultimatum of Poon or gastric.  Well in mind back then I thought it was in its infancy and wasn't sure. So now I know that option is going to be tossed back on the table. So Susanne and I explores this since I am sure Susanne is very aware of the surgery.

For those of you that don't know what it is, it is a surgery that physically makes your stomach smaller so it will only hold 4 ozs at a time.  See the picture below:

So Susanne told me that now I have been seeing her for a year that she thinks that I would be a good candidate for the surgery since I am a BLT'er (bites, licks and tastes) since I crave a taste of food not a plate of it. We also discussed that it isn't what I put in, it is how much I put in. This reverts back to my childhood of closet bingeing and "getting my money's worth" when money was tight.

So she told me to do my homework before we get together in 2 weeks and I would like to thank my big sis C, Nads, Miss A and a rekindled friendship with Hills who has open their hearts to me about their journey. Thanks also to my DH since he said he will support me In whatever direction I take.

It is a bit hard to wave good by to Poon since I have mase friends but I do hope that we can still have a strong supportive relationship with each other.

I will keep you posted on what I do.

To quote Exposé......

"Seasons change, people change" and "feelings change"

Thanksgiving here in Canada is a sure sign that the seasons are changing!  This was our 5th year of camping for the DH, the dogs and I and the 3rd year with C&F in Alliston at the Nicholston Dam.  it is a GORGEOUS place and we paid a bit more for a waterside site.

This is the view we had from the site.

And year after year I get more creative with cooking over the fire.  First year was just the turkey breast on the campfire and this year was the turkey, potatoes, green beans, cauliflower and F's chicken strips.  When everything was said and done we had a quite the feast!

The work in progress

The finished yummy-ness












Things were definitely changing for my friends around me too.  Maine was able to have a 2nd interview so I am sending her good vibes and we even went out for lunch before hand.  Since I had been on a few 2nd interviews I was able to give her a few tips on what they might expect.  It hasn't been long enough yet for her to find out if she got the job or not.

 

Now on the flip side of the coin from getting jobs to losing jobs.  I came on Thursday to find out that Miss A, DoxyLover along with one of Las Chi Chis were walked out before 8 am.  I was absolutely shocked since all of us were all sitting in a webinar the day before. All 3 of them are doing well and I am sure that they will find something soon since they are smart and know their stuff.  So I went armed with Chinese food for supper and had a good chat with DoxyLover and Mr DoxyLover and the DH for a few good hours.  We all lightened the mood by watching the latest Big Bang Theory before the DH and I headed home.

 

I guess things come in 3's.....The 3rd change would be the fact I was asked to leave the Poon program.  I have been off and on the wagon for 2 years and was told that others that have been in the program have lost all their weight by now and are on maintenance.  Myself?  I have lost 25 and gained back 30.  So I had a great first 6 months and then slowly gained it back.  I prayed last night about the day and I had a dream about all my friends that had gastric bypass or Lapband held a support group since I just had "one" of them done.  Maybe I am reading too much into it? Or maybe this might be the direction I need to go?  Who knows but I know that Dr. Sarah isn't going to be happy when I go my physical next month.

Uh oh......

This is a short one while I can :)

I had a SoCom meeting with mi amiga and some others today and we were talking about our big dressy Christmas party. 

We decided that we were going to have take away presents for the office to have and last year we had some nice scarves and shrugs so we couldn't do that again.  Everyone has different jewellery tastes and I know for a fact DoxyLover doens't wear and and neither does Navy Wife.  So we brainstormed and came up with the idea of having some pampering stuff including chocolates.  We they are joking that there is going to be tasting and samples.  I am sure it will be good stuff but will I have the will power or will I give into it all?  I guess time will tell.

I am off to a session so I guess I will post again later!

Love, life and the cancer way

What a week (I am sure more than that) it has been!

The DH and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary together and believe it or not you are supposed to give silver holloware......I had no clue what that was until I went googlin' and found out it is silver that would hold something.  Well he doesn't drink that much so a goblet or flask is out of question, they suggested bowl or vase, nope on that one too.  So I finally found something that resembles silver and they technically hold something.  A stainless steel BBQ set and I had the case engraved.  Not too shabby if I say so myself :)

We had a nice dinner and a chat at a new resturant that was my choice and I really enjoyed myself.

Things with Susanne are really going well.  I feel like I am making good progress with her and we have been able to understand some of my food eating habits.  We found that I need to make things fun in order for me to enjoy it.  So we think that is why I enjoy making food for others since I like to see the smile on their faces as they enjoy what I create.  So I am starting to make Poon "fun" for myself by trying new recipies and chaning it up a little bit.  So far I have been able to find a good alternative for my brekkie and snacks for work and now I just need to be home long enough to make suppers LOL. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving since I will be spending time with the DH and C&F who I haven't really seen since this time last year. We are hitting our regular haunt for camping and I am looking forward to a 3 day detox. I have been off and on the wagon for a while so I am thinking that this and my sessions are going to set me up for success.

Some of the ladies here ventured out and walked the CIBC Run for the Cure that was 5 kms in length in Burlington.  We called ourselves "Las Chi Chis" with is Spanish for "The Boobies" and I made up some shirts for us to wear.  I do admit that I had the best of intentions of running it with Ohio and mi Amiga but there was one excuse or another and all 5 of us walked it.  We didn't set any land records for walking it but there was just shy of 4,000 particpants and a fair amount was raised.  The bunch of us decided that we would do it again next October and we will be all decked out to enjoy the day.

There's an App for that..........

I beat the DH home on Thursday so I thought what the heck I will get on the treadmill and get my interval running going and watch Corrie at the same time. He came home and asked I was going to join him and the dogs for a walk later. I thought sure since they are more like a stroll. 

Well who ever told my DH about the app called RunKeeper might want to hide.......this application "announces" the time, speed and distance I wonder if we are going for new land speeds! 

So we walked 3+ kms in less than 45 minutes and boy were my legs killing me at the office on Friday! I had some shin splints on the treadmill but worked through them, then my toes were some sore on the walk but I persevered through it all. 

I am glad for the company that we had on Saturday or we would have been off again! I didn't get much sleep on Saturday night since I woke up a few times with leg cramp (charlie horses) that I needed to walk off. 

So I decided that I would skip the treadmill on Sunday and let my body rest. Well the DH suggested another walk and I thought rather than do a loop, let's have a goal for our walk. Well my fave place to get my kale chips should be far enough for a walk let's head that way. We started off just after lunch and went on our way. We got to the store and found that it "seasonal" on Sundays so it was closed :( So we crossed the street and had some lunch and started on the trek back home. We stopped off at the grocer's on the last bit of the trip and I loaded up the back pack with stuff for some extra weight to add some more excercise to it all.

The app said that we did all 5+ kms in over an hour which was good since we were gone for over 2....love the pause button LOL
 
That takes us to last night…….I got home with a bit of a grump on and the DH told me that we had a friend called Nash stopping by to join us on the walk tonight. Oh what the heck I’ll go again.

Her long stride had us doing over 3.5 kms in just over 45 mins.....and she really enjoyed herself.  Mel tried to keep up since we firgured that she is the kind of dog who tries to keep pace with whomever she is with.

I am kind of glad for the break tonight with the second job so I can rest my knees LOL

Poon Pacer's of G'Town

Consists of me, the DH adn the girls LOL......

I was a little bummed when I got home after funding out that one forgot about it, the other stopped in to tell me she was bailing and the other one let me know via FB that she wasn't coming.

So I drowned my sorrows in some Diet Coke and watched some Big Bang Theory with the DH.  At this point it was 8 pm and so we laced on the shoes and went for a walk!  Poor Miss Mel Mel tried so hard to keep up with the quicker pace.

These are our results:

Balloons in the office!!!!!

HAPPY NATIONAL PAYROLL WEEK!!!!!!!  (For those of you in Canada)

Group on Saturday was great! Met some new Poon’ers and spread what knowledge I had and they seemed to enjoy themselves and the tasty treats I took along too.  As you can see I variety of stuff that I took that included chive & cheddar carbquick biscuits with the phase 2 tomato sauce; carbthin pancakes with walden farms syrup and the old standby of smaps.

 

I have started a “Poon Pacers of G’Town” walking group and I am hoping that they will want to start to run so I am going to do a 1:1 interval tonight to show them that it isn’t that hard.  I say that now LOL

Momma Tool ran her 5K over the weekend and she did it in less than 40 minutes so I guess there is hope for me!  I am proud of her and I am hoping that the next time we get together (December) that we can go for a jog together.

Happy Freddy Day!!!!!!

Well for those of you that know me, know that Fredy would kick Jason's butt any day including today so since 1991 September the 13th is actually Freddy's Day.......

I think I still have the 2010 one to watch, but getting the box set from my brother was the best!

Even though folks are posting this pic because it is Friday the 13th today my fave will always be Freddy.  I guess with both of their days falling on the same day, the only thing to do is watch Freddy vs. Jason tonight LOL







 

A series of new stuff......

This is post about stuff I haven't done in a while and even stuff I have never done before.

Yesterday I went back to church.  I was able to see my step mom and one of my step sisters and it always amazes that through social media we can still stay connected even though we physically haven't see in each other in years.  Both of these are something that I haven't done since Nikki and I were paired up as a service team so that should give you some idea of how long it has been!  I had prayed in the past trying to see which direction my life should be going and my thoughts about going back to church just seemed to be one more thing in my plate I didn't know if I could deal with it.  As I said, I prayed and next thing I know I had the missionaries knocking on my door.  So I decided to consider this a sign and followed up on it.  Well yesterday was a Stake Conference and this is when the chapels in the area get together and listen to an authority of the Church.  My heart was racing when I went in since it wasn't my usual chapel so I felt a little panicked when I walked in.  I did get there early enough to get myself and Nikki settled before it all began.  Nikki had a bit of doggy tummy so near the end she had to let her out.  Once the session was over, I had received numerous compliments on Nikki ranging from things like "I didn't know there was a dog there" to "she is so behaved that she could teach the Sunday School kids a thing or too" LOL  I was able to talk to my Bishop while I was there and he is looking forward to seeing me next week.  So far it is still a go.

Once I go back from Church the DH and I went for a loooong walk.  I "google'd" it and it is just shy of 4 km the route we took.  We stopped for lunch and this is the other "haven't done in a while" is got some chicken nuggets at McD's for lunch.  Mind you I had a side salad, but I am definitely paying for it today.  I hear Florida from group rolling around in my head again "garbage in, garbage out" and boy is my tummy sore!

And now for some thing new!!!!!!!  Ohio has talked me into the CIBC Run for the Cure on Oct 6th...... what is a 5 k run right?  That is the loop the DH and I walked and then some!!!!  So I guess I better get on the treadmill since I will need to get running at least some of it.  To quote Momma Tool "I don't care if the lights are turned off and everyone has gone home, I am going to finish the run!"
More details of the run are at http://www.runforthecure.com/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=1703

Welcome Back?????????

I know it has been a while but I have been able to figure out how to post to my blog more regularly on my phone WHEEEEE  So you might even get multiple postings from me know LOL

Things with Susanne are going well and we have started out to figure out some things that will help me make changes for the better in the new future.  We have figured out that I am the kind of gal that needs to make stuff fun in order to get it done.  She figures that is why I enjoy the horse industry so much.

The Dr Poon wagon had a flat for a bit, but that is now fixed and with Susanne’s help I should be more excited about it that I was before.  I have an appointment on Sep 19^th that I really need to keep.  It isn’t with Dr. Crystal since he is going to be on holidays so I will see what this guy is like.

The DH and I went on holidays to see family and attended the International Conference and it wasn’t the highlight of the trip for me.  Believe it or not…it was going to the stock yards in Fort Worth.  Here is a pic of me doing what I do best J Why didn't you guys tell me I was startng to get bat wings?!?!?!?!

Work is work. NN was terminated and has been replaced with Navy Wife.  She and I are hitting it off pretty good since she is in the SCA and she has a dog too J DoxyLover is more comfortable around her too than she was with NN.

So that is everything in a nut shell so I will talk again in a bit!

I am in the BLT group!

Thank you to everyone that has been with me reading my blog and posting your support as well.  I know some diets work for some and surgeries work for others but I think I have found a good one in Poon that will work for me.  I just need to get the mindset straight to continue on the journey.

That being said I had another session with Susanne last night.  I mentioned the fact I wasn't hungry at lunchtime or suppertime on Wednesday and so we discussed that for a bit.  We discovered that the world is my oyster and I can choose what I want to it.  Where as growing up, it was a "you can't eat this because it has meat, or carcinogens, or whatever Mom/Jack believed at the time....." and I would defy them by eating all the stuff I wasn't allowed.  So know that I am on my own I can eat what I want when I want and that is why I am not thinking/wanting food all the time.  It only took 19 years to get it out of my system and that is a lot of food! LOL

Then we disussed how I eat.  Not meaning I use a fork versus a spoon but do I enjoy food or just putting food in my mouth and scarfing it down.  She had me keep journal last week on my thoughts when I ate.  We looked back on it and found that a savour food and I am happy with the initial in the mouth sensation and really don't want the rest and I guess I am BLT'er in the Poon group . I am also becoming more comfortable with leaving food on my plate but I need to remember not to pick at it. So she commented that I should simply crumple up my napkin and place it on the plate so that I know no one else will eat it, it is covered up so I will forget that it is there and also it is a sign for the waiter to take it away before I pick at it.

She also asked me draw how I see myself.......boy Mrs. Indart would be ashamed LOL Susanne had me talk out loud as I was drawing it and she took notes as we went.....well that made for some fun.  She said that she isn't going to tell me what she wrote but I am sure we are going to revisit this topic later on down the road and sure that there will be changes.

So that is ti for a bit since I am stoked for this weekend of camping and Wonderland all on the same weekend!!!!!!  I will try to post pics when I get back.

Shocked

Breakfast was the last of the boiled eggs and half a cuke that I had in the fridge here at work.  I thought that I would eat that instead of the bagels that are frozen the fridge at home.  *little pat on the back for me.....* BUT..........

I never thought I this would happen.......I need to get some lunch and I have no interest in food right now.  Normally I would have been thinking about it all morning and would be just waiting for noon to get here.

hmmmm.

Maybe there is hope for my eating habits yet. :)

A good catch up

I know I have been slacking in my posting and I see that no one has been missing it like a cancelled soap opera LOL.  There have been things that have been going on in the last couple of months that I think I can talk about again. 

I had my review at work and was really reluctant since we now have a revised HR department where we didn’t really have one before.  The VP was running things and wore that hat too, but when she left and the new one came in she really shook things up and a HR department was part of it.  So when I have had jobs in the past I got the pat on the back and a “you’re a getting an $X raise” and that was it.  Well now there was a form I had to fill out on whether I was meeting expectations or exceeding them.  I knew that the DH has used them for his team so we talked about it over breakfast one Saturday morning and I turned it in to Management.  I got to meet with the MoO and my supervisor and we were in agreement that I was meeting expectations.  I was even told that I was great to work with on a daily basis!  Next up was the DoO.  I got praises from her for leading the Social Committee and how she has seen a reduction in the errors in my work!  That got me a raise J  I guess I shouldn't sweat the small stuff! 

Well I took your advice and changed from Coco to Susanne.  I am not sure if she is younger than me but she definitely not older.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but she does specialize with eating disorders and Nikki actually relaxes when we are there.  I guess the fact Nikki didn’t settle at Coco’s should have been a sign.  Anyway, Susanne has been able to teach me to look at food differently to the point I get bored of eating.  She has been able to get into my head that it is okay to leave food behind on my plate.  I just need to break the habit of picking at while I wait for the plate to get cleared away.  She also has the thought that deprivation should be allowed.  So I need to repeat things in my head when I am restaurants and even at home while I am thinking about food.  She has been able to give me homework to do so that I am able to talk to the DH and start on working on myself.  I have had 3 visits with her already and I feel like I am making it somewhere with my head. 

Speaking of food, I have changed doctors at the clinic and he is really interested on how I am doing with Susanne and keeps taking lots of notes.  On the down side, I have gained it all back but Dr. Crystal gives me mini challenges to do and this time around it is only 4 pounds of fat by the 20^th.  I think that this is doable if I put what Susanne has told me and the tools of Poon get put together.  It is the bridge between the 2 that is getting difficult.  But who said it was going to be? 

The DH and I haven’t been camping and we have only hit CW once this year.  I will be glad when our lives will get back to normal in 2014 so that we can do more stuff on a whim.  It was nice the first year since I had all the girls over, and the second year even that got boring.  In the 3^rd year I was just sitting around.  I felt like I have run out of things to do on my own LOL   

Had a family get together for my Mon’s 65^th and I was a little reluctant to go since I hadn’t seen my cousins for a bit and there was tension even then when we were together with one in particular.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but I gave her my phone number and the ball is in her court.  I also realised that I was at a new high in my weight and thought that for sure it was going to have some gossip around it.  I don’t even think it came up but I guess I will have to chip away at it 4 pounds at a time LOL 

I think that is it for now……..so hopefully I will update again in a few days!

Tonight......The good or the ugly

Well tonight the DH leaves for New Orleans, and I hope that they take good care of him.  He had blast last time he was there and came home with some interesting food and informed that he ate crocodile.  It would be nice to go back and see how much of it has changed since I was there and see the highlights the DH is talking about.  He will be back late on Monday so I am hoping to get a full night’s sleep tonight ha ha

Tonight is also my appointment with Dr. Crystal and I guess I will find out what is going on.  I know I have gained since I last saw him in particular and he seems like and understanding guy so I am hoping that he doesn’t say “your head isn’t in it so you need to leave for someone that has the drive.”  Then where do I go?  I thought about the surgery again, but that really isn’t fixing what is going on upstairs.  I can lose the weight surgically, but there aren’t any guarantees that I will keep it off.

So we shall see what he says and I will let you know too.

April 9th……. Coco episode 2

Well I had my second session with Coco and I am beginning to think that she and I aren’t clicking.  I was there right on-time and I was told to wait to see her.  So I finally got in to see her and I told her what Dr. Poon had told me about Dr. Crystal and she then immediately said “we if he is a therapist too, maybe you should be seeing him in his home office and not me.”  She also agreed with Dr. Poon’s comment of eating a cow if that is what I am allowed.  She doesn’t seem to move the conversation along all that much either.  She will ask me a quick question, I give her a reply and then you can hear crickets.  I find that I am talking in circles hoping that she can give me some insight and it even got to the point of me saying “and I think that is where you come in” with not much of a reply.  She didn’t rebook me and she simply said “call me after you see the other doctor on Thursday and we will take it from there.”  Almost as if she was hoping that I wasn’t going to be allowed to see her again.  She was checking her watch a bit like I was taking up her time and by the time I go back to the car I wasn’t even in the office a whole hour.

Happy First Contact Day!

We enjoyed the day by visiting the new Wal-Mart (old Zellers) at home and Nikki had her work cut for her!  I was so misplaced that the short jaunt in for body soap and pills had me beat.  I was relying on Nikki and the DH to help to get back out to the main part of the mall!  The DH had some errands of his own to run and I just sat on benches in the mall to get my head straight.

Once we got home we watched First Contact and I ended up drifting off since I was so wiped from the mall.

 

March 31st……All About Pets Show

Today was our annual pilgrimage to the All About Pets Show that is at the Congress Centre with the St John Therapy Dogs.  This is Nikki’s chance to just be herself and get drive by pets and snuggles from those that find her interesting and just want to ask about the therapy dog program.  We arrived at 10 and by noon we were both feeling it!  We were on the schedule to be at the booth until 3 and I think that when that rolled around Nikki had enough.  She rarely said a word in the car all the way home.  I know if they ask us again next year we would do it all over again.

Princess Nikki sitting on her padded bench for snuggles

 

March 30th…Poon Seminar

Well I as dreading today and I think that is why I slept in so late this morning.  I lounged in bed and thought about not going to the Dr. Poon seminar at 1 pm, but I did spend money on it to go so I thought I better not waste it.

I got in at 12:30 and the line was already packed down the hall.  I ran into Ham and MedivalGal and thought I would stick it out.  I sat with MedivalGal near the front and listen to Dr. Poon reinforce the items that are in his book and also how to read labels within the guidelines of his eating.

There was a break between the sessions that I approached him and I asked if there was a therapist that knew his way of eating and that could help me out.  HE asked for more details and his reply to the CBED was “Eat a whole cow if you want and eat all you want just as long as it my foods” with a really big grin.  Then he told me that I should book an appointment with Dr. Crystal and let him know what is going on.  Dr. Chrystal also is a therapist plus a medical doctor so I would be getting the best of both worlds.

As a side note, Dr. Crystal was the first doctor I had when I started on this journey and he made me feel good about visiting.  I am not sure if it was the “newness” of starting it or if it was him.

I sat through the rest of the seminar and thought that there might be some light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t an oncoming train.

March 29th A busy day for a day off......

We had today off from work since it had been Easter and I really didn’t miss chocolate all that much this year.  Normally we have it in the freezer as soon as it hits the shelves and we work away at it until it goes on sale after Easter and fill it up again.

This year I did something different and went with DoxyLover and her family to a fundraiser doggy Easter egg hunt.  It was to support the National Service Dog Society and I figure for $25 and there is swag at the end I wasn’t going to worry about.  Mel and Nikki enjoyed themselves and Nikki enjoyed her grass just like we were camping.

Mel enjoying the contents of one of the eggs she found.

Nik is wondering where hers was.

DoxyLover's Sophie trying to get at the loot.

Once I got back to the house with the girls we headed off to Brampton to have dinner with AirCoolin’ & CorrieFan as well as Maine & PizzaGuy and the kids.  We made beef stroganoff for the bunch of them and I made it pretty Poon Friendly but I ate the egg noodles to go with it.  I had the internal mind wrestling of not eating the noodles, but eventually I gave in.  I kept to the liquids the rest of the night and passed on the 2^nd brownie with topping that Maine brought

March 28th Bonnet Babes

Today was the Easter Bonnet contest at the office.  I decided to go big ro go home when it came to the decorations of the Miss A gave me to use.  I figured at least I would be in the running for the $10 Tim’s gift card that was the prize.  Nope……it went to Philly C and I think she won because she had marshmallow peeps in the top that people could eat.  I guess I will have to think of something edible in my hat next year!

Here are some photos from around the office…….

The back of my bonnet



Me in my bonnet.

DoxyLover did this one......



 

 

 

March 26th Coco & Cake

Well today was my visit with Coco…..I am not sure what I think about her yet, but she is an older lady that is very quiet.  She didn’t ask too many questions to spur on a floodgate if stories or feeling from me so I am not sure how my next visit will go.  She doesn’t know about Dr. Poon or that lifestyle so I found myself explaining a lot to her.  She decided at the end of it she decided that I have compulsive binge eating disorder.  She also wanted me to check out inpatient rehab for this in my area.  I don’t even think my benefits would cover this let alone the 28 days of a leave of absence that I would have to go through.  I will have to ponder this and see if it is something I want to do.  To me rehab is extreme but so is a weight loss surgery.

It left me pondering things on my way to have a birthday dinner with PH and Nash and I wasn’t really up to eating.  So I picked at my dinner and put on a happy face for the sake of the birthday dinner and needed the DH input on the whole rehab thing.

Here is PH and Nash enjoying their desserts……..

 

 

St Patty’s Pics

I realise that I didn’t post any pictures of us around the office….so as promised, here they are.



It seemed like the right thing to do at the time!

Wow

I have Ms. Florida's words echoing in my head this morning......"garbage in, gets you garbage out."

Yesterdays menu was a 6" sub with milk for lunch, supper was nachos and cheesecake for dessert and kids sized drink with a kids sized popcorn at the movies.  (BTW Life of Pi was good but take tissues) I would have eaten this as a regular day before Poon and I am finding that still was conscious about the carbs.  I picked at the bun for the sub an didn't eat all the nacho chips or eat all of the tortilla around my cheesecake.  I felt absolutely okay leaving it behind! 

After my day of "letting go" I am paying for it today.  I was up and down during the night in the bathroom, finally took some of the DH Imodium this morning and my head is killing me.  Not sure if it is because of the lack of sleep or the salt intake from yesterday.

Off to take some Aleve and back to bed for this one!  If I feel better after the nap I will definitely get on the treadmill!

EDIT: I did make it to the treadmill but for 18 minutes....better than nothing I guess........

Missing Puzzle Piece

I remember doing a puzzle with C&F camping last season and it was nothing but cats of course LOL....But I remember working on it and there was an area in the bottom left corner that was black and needed that one last piece that connected the large cat in the centre of the puzzle.  I remember the happiness both of us felt when we found that piece and put it in.

Thinking about it I think that my Dr. Poon and other aspects of my life are missing that last little black puzzle piece.  Believe that there are 3 aspects of a human and they are mind, body and spirit/soul and when one isn't there, the body fails.  I know that my body is failing and so is my spirit since my mind isn't it.  My body can be put through the motions of Poon (body) and I am happy with the results (spirit) but I why don't I care about the whole darn lot?

So next week is that start or restructuring my puzzle so the last piece of my puzzle will be on Tuesday with Coco so hopefully it will all go well.to complete my tri-bond of life.  So since all weeks start on a Sunday I have decided that today is going to be a "let down my hair" day since I have had a stressful week with DoxyLover being holidays with some help from Ohio but then there was help from Norman and well let say she just added to the stress.  The DH and I are off to dinner and movie with passes we got a Christmas tonight so hopefully that will help the spirit.

So less than 24 hrs from now I will focusing on the carb detox of phase 1 and getting on the treadmill.  So be forewarned there might posts of wanting foods and aches from the treadmill :D

Wow only 16 minutes.....

Well today was a NSV (non scale victory) for me today......

I stepped back on the treadmill after some serious persistence of the DH and decided that a good half hour would be great for me to start the week off.  I have a routine of changing, pulling up the hair, get my shoes on, turn on the DM video and then the treadmill.  Sounds like a plan right? But one important detail I forgot.....to stretch.  Now Ohio has warned me about this when we are chatting at work but I seemed to have left this detail out this afternoon.  

Well I was chugging along at a brisk walk of 4.0 mph WOHOO (the NSV) since I could do 3.8 in then past a 4% incline!!!!!!!!!!!!  And that is when it hit.  16 minutes into my brisk walk I had to stop because of shin splints.  I guess these are better than the cramped toes that Miss Poonpalooza gets when she runs.  She has been running for a year and this is what I get to look forward to?  I better stop now :D

For those of you that don't know, a shin splint is like a really bad muscle cramp in the front of your shin and I have posted a picture of where they hit on me.

So I guess I will need to remember to stretch before and after getting on the treadmill, but for the here and now I will limp a bit for the rest of the day with some ice on it.

Shortest month of the Year

I know it has been a month but at least I picked the shortest month of the year ha ha……..

Since the end of January I have been really feeling like I have only been going through the motions of everyday.  I was working Super Bowl weekend at the other job and it was really quiet.  I remember thinking that the Grey Cup had more action than the Super Bowl.  I guess that is what happens when you live in Canada.

There was a Poon Group meeting about mid-February and Ms. Poonpalooza herself was stopping in too!  It was a pot luck that we were to make our favorite dish, so I happily made my chicken pesto and it got rave reviews.  It was interesting to see how many of us will cook and how many rely on the store bought stuff from the store attached to the Clinic.  Leigh mentioned herself that she is more of a home cook and the store rarely got a visit from her. 

 

 

 

I had a brutal cold later in February too.  I ended up sleeping most of Family Day since I was wiped!  I had no interest in food and ended up working a short shift at the 2^nd job and just went home.  I went into the office on the Tuesday just because I knew that my biggest client had payrolls that needed to be processed and he only likes the fact that I do them.  So I go them done and as much as I could so that I could take Wednesday off and I just slept then too.  I did eventually haul myself out of bed to go visit Dr. Marchie to find I down 3 pounds but it was all water.  I think it was all my sneezing LOL

February was a pretty sullen month since I had lost all interest in eating right and the treadmill.  Sullen isn't the right word....more like "I don't give a Flying Fig Newton about anything" so  I decided that on my drive into the office that something had to be done.  So I thought it was time to see a counsellor called Sanka again, who I haven’t seen in many.  I would have to say at least 5 years so I gave her a call.  I found out that she was still at the same location but she had increased her fees and my office would only cover $300 or roughly 2 visits.  So the DH and I were talking and he has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that sets you up with a counsellor and they pay for 12 visits.  So since I figured I was going to need to rehash everything to Sanka, I might was well do the same with this one and I will call her Coco.

Why do I need one?  Well I still am half-hearted about Poon, the treadmill is becoming more a walk/jaunt than a running tool and since I haven’t done the first 2, the diabetes thing is still in the back of mind and that is where it has stayed.  I haven’t had the “a-ha” moment yet to wake me up about it.  I have been just going from point A to point B and back again in auto pilot.  The DH has asked what he can do to make me happy again and I honestly don’t know.

I am starting to feel a little motivated, just for the fact that my list of friends are doing things that make me feel like that I have been “left behind” and I feel like showing them wrong.  What I mean by this, is that one has left Poon for WW, I have a good friend who is getting GBP in a few weeks, I found out another on has had the Lapband done and another who might not ever get well enough.  So I feel like I want to stay on Poon just to show that it can be done.  But I don’t have the get up and go to do anything about it.

That brings us to this week and I have my usual 3 shifts at the other job where food is going to be a temptation, 2 St. Patrick Day parties and I am finally going to get see Coco on the 26^th. I will post pics of all of us in green at the office……..